thisgirlispoison

My mind is everywhere…

on October 5, 2009

Time is passing fast, and time is running out. I feel like I have to be everywhere at once. And I hate it. He’s leaving. He’s really, really… leaving. And there’s nothing I can do to stop time or slow it down or make it stop. It’s hitting me, like a solid hook to the face. What am I going to do?

He’s out with his friends right now and I figured I’d at least change the layout to this domain and all I’ve been doing is sitting here, staring at the screen, playing Cafe World on Facebook. Whimpering.

I hope it wont be like this the entire time he’s gone. I know I’ll be sad, but I hope I dont spore up the entire time he’s gone. Like he said, hes out doing something to better our lives, so I should be too. So when we see each other again he’ll have something to be proud about too. What am I going to do without my support system?

God, I sound like a clingy dependent hopeless crybaby. Gross.

There’s so much left to get done before he leaves and I’m afraid we wont get it all done. I know we should had gotten it done the moment we knew he was leaving. But ugh. I dont know. Now we’re rushing to get everything done and probably wont have time to spend together :( pretty lame. I shoulda managed the time better *sigh*.

For the last month I feel like I’ve been in auto pilot. I havent really been paying attention to the blogs or the youtube or anything. And I need to, I need to go back to getting my page rate up, I need to go back to coding, filming, making jewelry. I cant just give up because I’m sad. If anything I should probably direct that energy towards being productive.

Easier said than done.


2 Responses to “My mind is everywhere…”

  1. awww man, I know the feeling of that “wtf am i going to do” HUGS TO YOU.

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