I tried to walk away, I didnt know what to think. I didnt know what to feel. I was angry at you, I felt like you had lied to me this whole time but at the same time I felt wrong for pulling away because we werent together. We had no rules, no strings, no nothing. Who was I to be angry? You caught my arm, pulled me into a huge hug and whispered “please dont leave me”. I was the only thing you had left. The noise from all the video games going off at the same time around us went quiet. It was just me and you.
You were the biggest chance I ever took. You were what stopped me from hating people, you flipped my world completely upside down. I saw how tired I was from being angry all the time, from hating the world, from shutting people out, from turning my back on people who only wanted to help, from yelling at my parents. You were my sigh of relief. I didnt have to fight anymore. I didnt have to struggle.
I let my guard down. I let you in. And you have never given me a reason to regret it.
Thank you.
Six years ago, I didnt in my wildest dreams think that our daily meeting place at school would be the place that you would ask me to spend of our lives together. The same spot where I’d stumble to you every morning after waking up from my first period nap. Six years ago, I was still trying to figure out if you liked me or not! You always seem to teach me something new when it comes to relationships, I could never match the love you feel for me. Its so intense and its so pure. I’m a little jealous, all I can give you is what I have left. But I’m happy that you do care about me and you do love me as intense as you do. I couldnt imagine anyone better to spend my life with.
You were the biggest chance I took, Martin Alvarez. And a chance well worth taking. I love you, so much.
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms,
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
(The poem Martin read me after reading off 100 reasons why he loves me before proposing).
