Lucky me :)
Yesterday I received two letters from Martin. Both three pages long (at first I was convinced this couldnt be my finace! He hates writing, but there it was. In his sloppy handwriting) and a letter about his graduation. I swear, I cried the whole time I was reading his letters. He was telling me how challenging everything was and just like the strong person he is, he was writing down plans to do better on his runs, his push ups, his crunches. I wish I was half as determined as he is when it comes to things that he fails at. I simply just give up. He never gives up, he never even thinks about giving up. And I admire that about him. He was telling me that he thinks of me when things get hard. And it makes me want to run over there (yes the whole how many states over) and just give him a huge hug and kiss. And let him know I believe in him. He also mentioned he wanted Olive Garden (OG is my favorite restaurant but he hates it there!) and he goes “its funny how when I leave I miss everything, or maybe I just want to be with you” and I just broke down. He would follow me no matter where I went, to the ends of the Earth if that’s where I wanted to go. And not in a lost puppy type of way, but in a I-want-to-be-where-you-are-always type of way.
I had just got done texting his mom the graduation details and my phone starts to ring, and its him!! Imagine my surprise. I picked up and he was on the other end, cheerful “Hi baby! What are you doing?” I missed his cheerful “Hi baby!” and so many things just flew out of my mouth. And suddenly, I just went blank. I know there was more I wanted to say and nothing was coming to mind! I hate that we’re on a time limit, it makes me forget things. Then he had to go, and I wish our phone calls werent bittersweet. We dont get enough of them and I dont want us to be sad when he hangs up. I’m determined to not let it end that way next time. I’m determined to have him laugh and smile when he hangs up the next time.
We’ll see each other again. Just a few more weeks, we’re strong enough to get through this. I’m so proud of him. I cant wait to spend a weekend with him and listen to all the stories he has to tell.
The wedding planning is… going. Not as fast and as final as I’d like it to, but… its getting there. I figured out the table decor. My main stress is finding a dress. Cause I’m not going anywhere unless I find a dress! My mind is just… everywhere right now.
Wedding planning, graduation planning, jewelry making planning, just… everywhere. Lots of planning.
I was calling a bunch of buffet’s in Las Vegas today and it looks like I’ll be sticking with the original plan. Everything else just… doesnt make sense and I dont know how good their food is. I dont want to risk it. Favors are slowly coming together… filling up my planning journal, rather quickly lol.
I started reading Sweep: Book of Shadows today, a few hours ago. And I’m down to having 1/4 of the book left! This book is so good. I’ve always been interested in Wicca and Greek Mythology and stuff. So, yeah, this book is great. My family is catholic so, I kinda know how Morgan feels. Its just… insane lol. I wish Martin was here so I could tell him about it, hes always interested to know what I’m reading about.
Goodness, how did I get so lucky? :)
[edit @ 7:40PM]
I finished the book. Darn! Now I want to read the rest of them!
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