I figured if any day was a good day to say goodbye to you, it would be today.
Nine years ago today, you saw me at Pier with my boyfriend at the time. But I didn’t see you. And after meeting you, and you telling me that odd fact, we managed to build an amazing friendship. That fell apart six years ago. And to this day, I still wonder why. I still wonder why I can’t call you on the days I just need to hear your advice. And at the same time, I wonder why do I still feel that way? It’s been six years since we’ve had a real conversation. I don’t even remember what our conversations were like, it’s like having a hazy memory where you get the gist of it, but it doesn’t really make much sense.
Remember that night when we were at the ferry building with Sam and Paco? And remember how you told me you always wanted me in your life and you said if I ever wasn’t in your life you’d think to yourself “I’m glad that bitch is out of life, MAN! I’m an idiot…” do you still feel that way today? I highly doubt it, but it’s fine. We were kids, seriously what did we know?
Like a friend of mine had said recently, thank you for being my friend THEN. But this is now, not then. I’m not zel anymore. I’m nothing like her, actually. And I’ve never been so much happier since I dropped her. Zel is dead and gone, and so are you.
So goodbye, to the best friend I never wanted to let go. But today, I realize, I need to. Because too many years have passed and even if I had seen you today, what would I say? The truth is, I don’t know you anymore. And the truth is, you don’t know me at all.
And to be completely honest, as much as I hate to say it… I’d rather we keep it this way.
Oh Fourth of July, you’re always full of surprises, aren’t you?
I still miss my best friend. We had a falling out some years ago and i still miss him. He was the one i could always count on, but like you said.. i wouldn’t know him now and he wouldn’t know me. So much has changed, it’s still sad though to think we threw away a friendship that could of lasted a lifetime.
Yes, I know the feeling! Nice to know I’m not alone. It sucks wondering why things ended up that way or why it couldn’t be fixed, but life changes… and sometimes so do the people in your life and there isn’t much you can do about it, sadly.
I hope you have a wonderful and safe Fourth of July!
It’s sad, but it’s nice you’re able to say goodbye. I had to do the same thing recently. It’s nice to have a good memory of your relationship with a person… rather than trying to drag out what you know won’t work.
Life changes, people change, and I am sure that person had a huge impact on your life… for the positive :)