Christmas doesn’t really feel like Christmas.
I guess it’s because now I’m older. I’m not just receiving gifts, but I’m expected to give them too. It’s different when you’re a kid, all your time is consumed with enjoying every bit of Christmas. Every thing from when the tree goes up to the usual yearly television programs to shaking the boxes under the tree with your name on it and trying to figure out what it is.
I honestly don’t remember when was the last time I shook a box under the tree.
I think my Christmas joy was left behind along with it.
Now that I’m older, I can’t really fully enjoy Christmas and it sucks. I have things to worry about like getting gifts, cleaning the room, bills and homework. My winter break starts today. And I guess I should be thankful, some people don’t start til Friday and that must really suck. I’ve been so busy the whole month of December trying to keep my grades up and with all the fuss at home that I didn’t really get to enjoy much of December. Then again, it’s been awhile since I did. Last year I was busy with moving across the country and the year before that was spent worrying about my wedding. I’m hoping I’ll get to enjoy every month as they come in 2012.
I finally wrapped all the gifts and used up pretty much my whole roll of wrapping paper. Which is shocking since I only wrapped gifts for the family and for one friend. And it’s not like I suck at wrapping and wasted a bunch of paper or anything either. But it kinda just sucks, husband and I spent a lot on gifts and we’re not really expecting anything this year.
Another thing that sucks about growing up? Everything you want is pretty much over $100. But we figure when we get some money, we’ll wrap gifts, put them under the tree and have our own private version of “Christmas”. He’s a little upset I don’t have anything to unwrap this year and he spent all his money on his family (he has a HUGE family, I’m lucky I don’t). He did get me one thing, but according to him, pulling something out of a gift bag doesn’t count. I don’t mind too much, but I know he minds, a lot. One Christmas he even went as far as wrapping a Christmas card he got me, just so I had something to unwrap. He’s so silly, but it’s cute that he smallest things mean a lot of him.
It’s almost 3am, again. I told myself I wouldn’t sleep so late anymore. But I really want to start Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins. My reading has sucked this month too, which is really, really upsetting.
