family « thisgirlispoison

Things are hectic… and strange

by zel

I just signed up for classes at the community college last night. I’m taking 2 classes there (one of which is at 10am, ugh); a Flash class (husband’s) and a Humanities class (mine). I wasn’t able to get English online or Spanish online so that sucks. I really want to take English 122 over and take a foreign language class. Not to mention my class at UoP. So I have 3 classes, and 2 different school. I know, crazy right? But I’m trying to stay busy and the more credits I get from the community college, the more I can transfer to UoP and knock out some classes. I pushed my grad date back because I took the 8 months off for Disney. Ahhh.

UoP is driving me insane. My learning team sucks, it’s always just me and this other girl who is doing all the talking and doing all the stuff for the paper. The other 3 people take turns disappearing off the face of the planet or they respond like half an hour before the paper is due. Gee, thanks guys. The teacher blows too. She never responds to you and she’s skipped over my discussion question points several times. Seriously? You see all the responses from people, how do you not see WHAT they’re responding to!? ARGH. Fuckin… argh.

Last week was pretty hectic. A lot of stuff happened that I don’t really feel like talking about here. But it’s changed some things, in a good way. I wish I could talk about it, but I’m very protective over the subject and it’s not like anyone would understand either.

I guess I don’t like being here in CA because everyone knows who I am, not who I am, but certain personal things about me. But only because I grew up here and people know my family type thing. I guess I liked it better in FL cause I could be anyone, with any sort of past or no past at all and no one would know the difference. Sometimes life’s just better pretending.

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Protected: Drowsy afternoons — I need a nap.

by zel

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Protected: My head is stuffy.

by zel

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Happy Birthday, Dad.

by zel

Today’s my dad’s birthday. So, happy birthday dad :). I’m lucky enough to have a dad who still worries about me even though I’m 26 and not 16 anymore and who always makes sure that I’m okay :).

Blog, I miss you.

But I’ve been putting off writing since I got home because… you know how everyone said “home will be the same when you come back”? Well, it wasn’t. And I’ll write and pour out my heart on that in a different entry but to make a long story short… my cat died.

This might not be a big thing for some people. But to me, it’s major. This is the first time I ever left home. I constantly worried about her when I was in Florida and I was always asking my mom if she was okay and my mom would send me pictures of her and assure me she was fine. I was suppose to come home for a week in May and it was mainly to see my cat. I missed her so much. But my husband didn’t get the week off and they weren’t going to let me fly home, alone. So I didn’t get to go home.

She passed a week and two days before I came home. And I can’t help but beat myself up and think if I had just came home in May… if I just went home and not had extended my program… I would had gotten to see her. And I don’t know, it just sucks. My mom would tell me that she would sit in front of my room door and wait for me and I kept telling her to tell her I’ll be home soon. And I feel like I was too late.

And so that’s why I’ve been avoiding writing about being home, because I don’t want to confirm the fact that my princess is gone. I don’t know how to deal with it and I keep just pushing it aside. But I want to come back to blogging and I feel like I can’t until I get this out.

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