thisgirlispoison

Waking up, thankful.

It’s cold today and if there’s anything I love more, it’s waking up to a cold day!

I was going through Facebook and was reading something a former friend posted. It wasn’t anything epic but it made me think about her and how she’s so dramatic over everything. And it made me think about me, and how I use to be dramatic over everything and when I was, I swore the world was against me. Kind of like how she does.

And I thought about how I am now, and how I welcome struggles (but not their headaches) because they help me grow. Every struggle to me, is a stepping stone. And that’s just life, a bunch of stepping stones placed in your way to help you grow. At least, that’s what I think.

I don’t have the perfect husband or the perfect marriage (what is the perfect marriage anyway?) but I love him and I know I will continue to love him until the end of time. He’s not flawless like I thought he was at some point of my life, but I like knowing his flaws. I like knowing him. Every inch of him. And I love him on his worst days and on his best days.

I don’t have the perfect life. It’s so far from it. But I don’t mind, because perfect would be far too boring. I’m happy and content with my life. For the first time… ever. And it’s such a wonderful feeling. To finally love yourself and where you are in your life even if it’s not where you want to be. Everything takes time and work and of course, struggle.

I’m happy to be starting my life over and working my dream job soon. I’m happy to be living somewhere with new scenery! But… I just realized how much I’ll miss my family, random trips and seeing them. I’ll miss my Boqers and his silly chubbyness. And my Jay, who’s breathing has been scaring the crap out of me lately.

But still, I love the days when I wake up thankful for life and everything in it :)

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Headaches… oh how I hate headaches.

I hate that I don’t blog as much as I’d like to. Sometimes I have things to say, but most of the time I don’t. But even on the days when I do have something to say, I still don’t blog. Blah, I don’t know.

I’ve had a headache all weekend, it’s driving me nuts. I took NyQuil last night which eased it until well, now. I absolutely hate headaches, and I get them frequently. They stopped for awhile when I started drinking water, but I’ve been slacking on drinking water… so they’re back. I know I should start again, especially since it’s been really really hot lately, sometimes I doubt I think.

A bit off subject, my brother threw away a bunch of things that reminded me of him, or the him he use to be. His turn tables, his xbox and the Pwawa doll I gave him when we were kids. Shouldn’t hurt my feelings right? Yeah, it shouldn’t.

Another thing off subject… my reading week has been slow. I only finished one book this week and I finished it last night (which was cute cause as soon as I turned the last page, my husband goes “did you like your book?” and I was laying behind him and he was playing a game… how did he know I finished it?!)… I’m still struggling through “Sea Change” and I have to start “Butterfly” soon. I started “Other” last night awhile after I finished “The Swan Kingdom” (which didn’t have anything to do with a “swan kingdom”). It’s funny because I requested a review copy of “Other” and when they took too long to respond (I assumed the publishing company skipped my request), I bought a copy and the next day the publishing company responded. Don’t you hate when things like that happen? I love that I’m getting ARC’s and review copies, it makes reading and blogger so much more fun. I know everyone says you shouldn’t blog for the ARC’s, but it’s a nice feeling knowing that publishing companies think you’re worthy of it. Does that make sense?

I need to get my “to review” book pile out of the way, I’m a bit behind on two books. I have a few more ARC’s coming in this week… and I hate how impossible it is to reach Penguin…. argh. I’ll keep trying until I finally reach them (or until the books I want are relased)!

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Procrastinating.

I’m suppose to be getting ready for my trip, but my OCD doesnt seem to be in the mood which is making it difficult for me to touch anything that I need for my trip. I know, that’s a little hard to understand.

So while I let her calm down (and hopefully she calms down soon) I’ll make a quick post about Christmas.

Christmas isnt my favorite holiday (my favorite holiday’s are actually Valentines Day and New Years Eve). I love the holiday spirit, getting ready for Christmas more than the actually day OF Christmas. But lately Martin’s been making sure I enjoy Christmas every year :). This Christmas was much better than last years (last year we were so broke we literally made each other gifts)!

He brought over two gifts! He of course wouldnt tell me what they were but the one on the bottom was heavy!

I finally got him to let me open the top one. It was one of his Air Force BMT PT shirts, a Target gift card and a card he drew and wrote in. I shoulda took a picture of it but I wasnt thinking about it! Darn, I’ll post one later :)

We chilled on Facebook, playing Cafe World and watching A Christmas Story finally! At 8PM he let me open my other gift.

He has this thing where he wraps a gift, puts it in another box, wraps that box, etc etc. This was probably the longest unwrapping I’ve done. It would be wrapped over twice in completely different wrapping paper lol. By the time I got to the actual gift I was tired of unwrapping!

I dont know if I mentioned this but he was bummed out that he couldnt get one of the Limited Edition Metallic Blue DSi that came out last month for me (it has 5 pre-installed Mario games. One of them being Mario VS. Donkey Kong March of the Mini’s 2 — March of the Mini’s is one of my favorite games). So of course when I opened it, I was super surprised to find that he did get the DSi for me! I was super excited. He tricked me, again. I even checked our statement and there was no charge for any place that would sell a DSi! Grrr! He opened his gift and he was surprised to find a DSi too lol. Yes, we bought the same gift for each other lol! And it must suck for Marissa cause she came with both of us to get each other our gifts and she couldnt say anything to either of us LOL!

Our gifts! His is the black one, mine is the Mario one :)

His family tricked me too. His mom got me the DVD Julie and Julia and both Marissa and Martin have been preventing me from buying that DVD since it came out! I’m so excited to watch it! I use to watch her cooking show when I was a kid. I went to culinary school and I’m a blogger :) they also got me Cheshire socks. They havent missed getting me at least one Cheshire thing for Christmas yet lol! My mommy got me some New Moon stuff and my dad gave me money :) I wasnt expecting much from my parents since they’ve been super helping me out with this wedding thing. That alone was a huge enough gift from the both of them!

Spent Christmas Day at my cousin’s house (as always). It was nice seeing my family, I’ve missed them! I only get to see them on Christmas anymore :( my cousin’s baby Jacob is adorable! He’s so quiet, he didnt cry the entire night! I met my other cousin’s newborn Mya, she’s so tiny! She was asleep when I finally got to see her. My nephew Evan was hanging out with Martin, Martin got him to eat and was playing cars with him like the entire night lol. It was cute. Evan has the cutest “angry” face. Martin is so good with kids, like seriously, its kind of amazing how good he is with kids. Which makes me feel bad that I dont want kids, he’d make a perfect dad. Me on the other hand, my temper is too short to deal with kids lol.

They were playing car’s when I took this picture lol.

I have a picture of me feeding Evan, which was weird… cause I’m not good with feeding kids. But I totally know how my mom felt now when I’d run off after every bite lol.

Okay, I think I should go get my stuff ready for the trip now…! Haha.

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Aww, that was sweet!

So my dad call’s saying they’re in SF and hand the phone to my mom. She asks whats my favorite food at Fisherman’s Warf & I say the Clam Chowder… but its gonna be wayyy cold by the time they get home. So I asked her to get me Frooties at the candy store instead.

So later, she calls me up saying she doesnt know where it is. So I guide her to where it is, in the store, through the phone. Which I’m surprised worked because she probably woulda just gave up lol. But it just shows how much I go (or use to go) to SF lol! I told her I liked all of them but mostly the red ones.

So they come home and they got a lot of yummie food from SF and they picked our a bunch of the red Frootie for me, awww. That’s the sweetest thing ever! She also got some Tootsie Rolls (flavored) which is good cause after I realized they were next to the flavored Tootsie Rolls, I wanted some lol.

I didnt get anything done today. My tailbone was really bugging me. I dont know if that’s normal, but I assume its from sitting on my butt all day. So I tried to get up and walk around some. It feels a lot better now but it was reallyyyy bugging me earlier. UGH.

I tried putting AdSense on my blogger but it kept erroring me! Wtheck!!! GRRR.

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