School has started. I’m excited for my Humanities class (even if the book is freakin $105) but a little worried. At least I have the next two weeks to focus on it before I have to go back to the Uni. Which screwed up our classes and some othe stuff. After that shit ass class though I’m glad we’re taking a break. So frustrating.

Besides that not much has been going on. I’m itching to go on some big huge shopping spree but even with money in my account I’m still hesitant to go shopping like I use to. I spent about 10 minutes trying to justify buying a book for $12. Which original price was like $16. I skipped on a MAC lipstick I really wanted (and it was the last one they had). And it’s just weird. Life without credit cards really changes you. And I mean I’m glad I’m more conscious of the things I buy but sometimes I just wanna go on a spree you know?

And because a blog is boring without pictures…

I finally tried those Luna Bar things and I’m obsessed with the Lemon Zest one. So good! And it has fiber and iron? YES! I’m also obsessed with the Hex Hall series. Demonglass was SO good. I’m excited for Spellbound (which comes out in March) but not because it’s the last in the series. Ho hum.

Went to Ikea with hubs. We were suppose to go jogging, but got a little side tracked. I love Ikea food! All this cost under $10.

Lucky me all these were on sale on Amazon for $8. The one on the far right (which is part of my 2012 Debut Author Challenge) is $18 originally so yay for that! I’m in the mood for light and quirky books/characters. Not much in the mood for heavy and gloomy novels right now. Maybe it’s because it’s Spring or because Valentines Day (my favorite holiday) is coming up but I just want to feel good right now.

I did manage to go a little shopping. I replaced my MAC Blacktrack gel eyeliner since the one I had was about 2 years old. I also got a purple one because I can’t seem to find a good purple liner. I have a thing for gel liners. They’re easier to apply but I hate struggling to take them off. Can’t win them all. I’m a sucker for Essie polish these days (the one on the left I’m wearing now, I love teal!) and I’m also a sucker for Nicki Minaj lol.  I have a thing for OPI mini’s. I hardly ever finish a bottle of nail polish so it just makes sense for me to get mini’s, esp when it comes to OPI since they’re not really my go to polish brand.

Lately I’ve been trying to rebuild a lost friendship… but it’s not really going too well. I don’t think he appreciates my “random questions game” too much. And it’s just… weird. Like, at one point of our lives we were BEST FRIENDS and there was nothing I could say to him that would make me feel awkward around him. We had that comfortable silence thing going on too and he was just, I don’t know, the greatest guy friend a person could ask for. And maybe dating him was a horrible idea but we were probably even closer after. And I don’t know, one day he just dropped me. Out of nowhere. I remember asking him a few years back what happened and he told me distance. But that didn’t really make sense considering I was always here and he was always there. So what gives?

So more years pass and I got the hint he just didn’t want to talk to me anymore so I left it alone and life moved in anyway. There were times within the last 6 years that I tried picking things back up again but each time it was always the same, I got the feeling he didn’t want to talk to me or he just blew me off. So I gave up. I didn’t talk to him for a whole year. No comments, no happy birthday, nothing. And I don’t know, I move back home and I just missed him. Sent him a message and got no reply. Attempted to talk to him on AIM the last few days and I don’t know, he says it’s been a long time and it has been. A very long time. But I don’t know, it just seems like he doesn’t really care. So why should I spend my time trying to rebuild a friendship that the other person doesn’t really care about anymore?

I get that friendships need effort to work, but it shouldn’t take this much effort just to get him to talk to me. I just needed to get that out. He doesn’t owe me his friendship and I’m not expecting him to just drop back into being my best friend or anything. I don’t really know what I’m expecting. Something and nothing at the same time. I just had to get that off my chest.

I’m lucky to have the husband I have. He knows how much this whole thing bothers me and even though I think he thinks he should be iffy about it, he’s not. He talks to me about it and he listens.

People change, but memories don’t.

Sometimes I wish they did.

This passed week was one of those really irritating ones that make you want to rip your hair out. Thank goodness I had CJ there for me to bitch endlessly to and Martin to make everything better the best he could. I did manage to (hopefully) fix my loan mess, build back some of my publisher contacts, set an appointment for one of my biggest phobia’s and husband started playing FFXI again *shrugs*.

I’ve been addicted to KFC’s new Famous Bowls with bacon. Seriously, bacon is what this was missing. It’s. So. Damn. Good!!!

Sephora had their Friends & Family sale. I was lucky enough that my friend Steff works at Sephora and sent me a post card for it so I got to redeem it in the store instead of online like everyone else. I got the Too Faced Holiday Palette. I’ve always been curious about the Too Faced chocolate bronzer (which smells like chocolate) and I wanted Cop A Teal eye shadow so I figured why not just get this. Plus it comes with a full sized Shadow Insurance (their eye primer, that I really don’t care for). I also got a sample of the MUFE foundation everyone’s raving about. The lady helping me matched me super fast! I was impressed. And I got a gold Hello Kitty glitter nail polish.

I got After The Snow for review. I requested another book from that publisher that I really wanted to read but I guess they ran out of ARC’s (Advanced Readers Copy). Boo! I got Die For Me from participating in last month’s RAK (Random Act of Kindness). I sent out 2 or 3 books and I don’t know who sent this to me but OMG I’m so excited! I LOVE this cover!

I’m so excited I finally found these!! I’ve been searching for them all week! I stopped by our new Walgreens that has the new layout… it’s HUGE! And so pretty! The beauty section is like heaven. It’s so easy to find things and it’s all nice and organized! This is part of Wet N’ Wild’s new holiday collection. I can’t wait for their palettes!

We’ve also been playing this game a lot lately. I can see why people compare it to Kingdom Hearts even though it’s nothing like Kingdom hearts, not even close! It’s kinda confusing, like I don’t really understand the purpose of this game. It isn’t an RPG but it isn’t really a party game either, it’s kind of in between. But it’s fun! I’m of course Cheshire Cat, he’s already fully leveled and I should probably pick a new character but meh, I don’t want to. Alice world was fun, but it was after the Tim Burton film and not the Disney one. Hmph.

And also, I’ve been loving reading magazine’s on my Nook Color!

Yep, that’s pretty much this passed week besides the super irritating parts…

The room is yet again, a mess, so I’ll probably be spending my Halloween attempting to tidy it up, doing laundry and outlining my NaNoWriMo for November. I really hope I at least get 25k words in this year. Hopefully! I also gotta set up some blog posts for my many many blogs, sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself, really.

Have a Happy Halloween everyone!

I just spotted three baby silverfish (at least I assume they’re baby silverfish by the way they look & how fast they run) on my windsill. I dont see where they come from! But I always get them there. It’s irritating and a bit gross! I should vacuum & clean it up soon, but I just never have time to wheel my massive desk chair out of my room and clear all the things from under it. I probably really should though, soon.

Ah, I’m literally dripping sweat! I totally forgot what the purpose of this blog was… oh! I remember!

So since it’s so hot in my room, my makeup melts. A major thing I hate about summer. I was pulling out my makeup to see if everything was hold up okay, my ELF Cream Eyeshadow Duo’s were sweating. My MAC TenderTone went from a solid-gel to mush. I’m really upset about that. I have no idea where to store them since even the hallway is pretty heated. I dont want my hundreds (or even thousands) dollars of makeup to go to waste! This is so frustrating.

We have seven fans running in the house and with all the electric we’re using, we could be using on AC instead! UGH.

….and to boo and Flixie too! <3

Holidays arent too special around here. It was a normal day. Mom’s at work, dad went to church, Carlo goes to work. Dad came home with lots of yummie Chinese food though, so I’ve been eating all day lol. He got me my favorite, Won Ton Soup! Yummm!

I didnt get anything done today. I took a some pics for my NYX palette haul. Tried out some looks, played around with my MAC eyeshadow’s. I dont see why everyone loves Ricepaper and Nylon so much. I did swatches of MAC Nylon and FLIRT! Honey Lemonade and guess what, they were exactly the same! That was something weird to accidently come across!

Had a bunch of stuff to do, didnt do any of them… I need to start making a list of things I need to do, I slack off when I dont.

Got some more info on the Basic Training/Tech School stuff. I probably wont be moving out there for a month, cause it would hardly seem worth it if hes not gonna have that much free time… its just gonna suck being away from him for five months. I will however, visit at least once a month. Get over my fear of flying alone, I guess. How I’ll do that… I have no clue since he’s gonna be basically half way across the country. I dont know how well I’ll do with landing by myself. UGH.

Damn you fears. Seriously. Being afraid of pretty much everything really effen sucks. Like you would not believe the shit that goes on in my head sometimes!

Whateverr… after Tech School it shouldnt be too bad after that. Hopefully he’ll get to come home for Christmas. I’m sure he will, that’d be messed up if he didnt.

I need to get this domain up and running. I mean it IS up and running… but I mean… you know, the layout pulled together. I need to get my beauty page up too, but that’s gonna take a lot more… learning. I need to get on the “new entries” I’ve been planning on writing.

I just really suck at reviewing things. Really.

My daddy liked his ipod =). I’m glad he did. Holidays are kinda depressing around here…

I had one of those reality slaps.

You know, if I never got into makeup… I would had been able to upgrade my phone, get the camera I wanted and upgraded my SideKick a year early. Not to mention I wouldnt be trying to come up with ways to get 358/2 days.

My room use to be STACKED with video games, DVD’s and books. At one point of my life, I knew everything you had to know about being a White Mage on FFXI. I knew what foods did what, I knew how to make them, I knew where to farm the things I needed… and I liked that I knew all that. When I really really like something, I like knowing EVERYTHING about it. I knew a lot about Kingdom Hearts, I knew about the spin off’s when they were first announced and I followed anything that would give me more information about it. And I enjoyed knowing so much about video games. I never call myself a gamer (cause I think gamers are idiots) but I did know more than I probably should had about video games. I would never leave the mall without at LEAST 2 games of SVC Chaos with Martin. I spent nights playing Guilty Gear and at one point, Tekken. I use to be pretty decent at Soul Calibur. And I’m not gonna lie, I’ve ALWAYS sucked at Smash. Btw, Marth > Falco.

And now, I look around and all I see is… makeup. Everywhere. I look at my inbox and I have makeup related emails. I spend my time looking up makeup, watching it on youtube, blogging about it, buying it, reviewing it. I went to the mall the other day just to go to MAC and leave.

WHO DOES THAT? Seriously. Why would someone who doesnt even LIKE makeup, invest so much time and money into something they never really had an interest for?

The people who know me question it, Martin questions it, and honestly, I spend a lot of time questioning it myself. I do enjoy the things I do like, I do like playing with the different colors and I like the yummy tasting lipglosses. I like learning about it. But I’m no artist, I cant even line my eyes right and I’ve been doing this since November of last year. I’m more aware of how imperfect my skin and my face and my eyes and my lips are. And I never use to care about how imperfect my face was. I never use to care if my dry spots flared up, I never use to care that my lips are pigmented and now I do because I cant wear nude lipsticks. Now I care because blush never looks right on me. But why. Why do I care? I like the way I look with makeup, but I think I look SO much better without it.

I cant shake this stupid obsession.

I just realized yesterday, when was the last time I looked at FOOD? When was the last time I spent all my time online on flickr looking at food? When was the last time I picked going to a restaurant over discovering a CCO or an Ulta? When was the last time I went to Bubba Gumps over the MAC Pro Store?

I wanna go back to spending all my time playing Sims and FFXI. When the main thing on my mind was beating Kingdom Hearts and not when the next MAC collection is coming out. I miss playing games with Martin, I miss doing guy things. I miss not taking an hour to get ready to go out. I miss walking out of the house thinking “hm, my hair looks messed up. Oh well!” and throw on a hat and call it a day. I miss my bandanna’s, my hats, my big shirts and my baggy jeans. I miss rockin Martin’s clothes better than he can!

I’m aware. Very aware of my actions. But being aware of something and doing something to fix it are two completely different things.

Dont get me wrong, I do love makeup and I do love learning about it, but I hate watching myself put it on and the only thing I can think of is “this isnt me”.

Babes, thank you for putting up with this for all these months. I know you dont get it and I know you dont think I need it, but thank you for always offering me your hand to fill up with swatches of eyeshadow and sticky lipgloss. Thanks for listening for hours on end about what brand I like and dont like and why. Thank you for trying your hardest to remember my favorite products. Thank you for never letting me leave Macy’s and the CCO without my Peace Of Mind and thank you for putting it on with me. I know you dont like it when I spend a lot of money, but thank you. For understanding. iLy.

Btw, my Axel will scrape your Marluxia on 358/2. Neeeeeeega!

Yesterday wasnt as busy of a day as I thought it would be lol. We went to the mall and paid a bill. Walked around a bit. I didnt get my MAC Violet pigment cause I spent too much money on MAC the day before *mocks Martin*. Its okay, I’ll just stock up on samples! Holler!

We headed to the USAF recruiting office after going to mall & it went really well. Some studying and working out to be done but well on the way! I’m so excited!! I was drooling at the benefits when the recruiter was going over them! OMGG. So many amazing benefits. I found out the USAF also has a reserved program, which is pretty cool. After the appointment went to get some gummies from the Asian market for a swap I’m doing (okay and because I wanted some too)! Then headed to Target and got tampons. And just tampons. I hate walking out of Target with just one thing LOL!

Spent the night looking up some exciting stuff. I’m so so so  excited! I called my bestie and she was like “HA! You ARE excited! I knew it!” whateverrrrrrr. Haha I <3 her.

The next five months are gonna be busy!!! AHHHHHHHH I’m so excited!!! =D

I also got my MARK rep stuff in yesterday!! Suuuuper excited!! YAY!

Today I tried out the MARK Get A Tint tinted moisturizing lotion and it was pretty good. Besides the first feeling of putting it on your face fades its pretty lightweight and blends really good. I also did a red/blue look with MAC eyeshadows Cranberry and one of the dark blue’s I have (the name is totally not coming to me right now) and it was beautiful! I also highlighted my eyebrows with FLIRT Honey Lemonade (I’m loving that e/s just like I knew I would!) and highlighted with MAC Claire de Lune. Pretty! I liked it! I also wore MARK Juice Gem in Mango Tango. I’m loving the MARK Juice Gem lipgloss!

ANYWAY lol.

I was suppose to go to Pista Sa Nayon today but skipped it. Blah! Went to get some California Pizza Kitchen instead and some stuff from Lush. I went to Sephora and looked at the Stila Smudge Pots, but honestly… I think I’m totally over Sephora. I didnt really find anything I was just aching to get. I’m pretty proud of myself! Had a nice giggly loving day with Martin <3. We also went to Ranch 99 to get some $2 Chow Mien (so good) but they changed the type of noodles today! So we didnt. Just did some walking and looking around. Then went to Target again and got a hot dog + soda combo. Oh we also tried the new Godiva chocolate for summer Lemon Drop. I like it! Its tarty. A lot of Godiva chocolates arent really tarty. I also got a free chocolate (they changed it to once a month now!) so of course I got Strawberry Cheesecake!

Tomorrow’s a chill day. Gonna hopefully do some cleaning and do some more crazy planning. I dont know how I’m gonna work this out, but I’m super super excited!! Gotta edit some videos, take some haul pictures and write up a huge haul update. UGHH.

I need to stop sleeping/waking up late! Seriously, this is so shitty booboo!