I’ve been hooked on this song lately. It’s one of those soothing songs you imagine yourself listening to while you’re taking a candle lit bubble bath and reading a book.

I live for songs that are like this. Slow and relaxing. Not to mention growing up I was an insanely HUGE Dru Hill fan.

Just for the record, I was tempted to make the first entry Wicked but I figure I’ll save that for later hehe.

Anyyywayyy….

Autumn! Oh me and Autumn, we have this really weird and super secret love/hate relationship. If I were ever to cheat on Martin, it would be with Autumn (can you cheat on someone with a season? Absolutely). Then I’d cheat on Autumn with Winter. I know, arent I scandalous?

I get into these crazy moods when the temperature starts to drop and the leaves go all… dead. And stuff. Haha. In my life, my previous boyfriends always managed to break up with me like right before the holidays. Trust me, it was fool proof. I always figured it was because they didnt wanna splurge on gifts for their girlfriend, who knows. But I guess that contributed to my crazy mood when it comes around this time of the year.

I get the craziest most intense urge to be independent. And alone. Til like, January haha.

I dont know, to me it feels like Autumn is the beginning of a fresh start. The air feels nicer against your skin and everything is crisp and refreshing. The plants are dying so they can start over again. And there’s just something really refreshing and inspiring about that. I’m also one of those people who find colder weather to be more romantic. And its around the time I usually fall asleep watching Serendipity every night. Might explain the wanting to be alone/romantic statement, yah?

Ironically, me and Martin usually break up in November if we do break up. Though our break ups arent like normal people’s break ups, they’re very helpful. We tend to talk to each other a lot more when we break up. But it always, always lands in November. Again, fool proof. And we break up every other year. Fool proof! But now that we’re getting married, what happens? We cant divorce every other year haha. I guess its good that he left this Autumn, it skips a year. But then it throws off our “fool proof” cause that means next year we’ll get along since his presence was absent this year.

I’m sorry, is this a weird subject to be talking about? I actually brought this up with him and he usually denies we break up. Even though he always asks me back out lol, he’s odd like that. But I’m very thankful he puts up with my crazy habits and ideas and all around just man-shes-not-making-sense-right-now. Though he did pick up a new habit of chanting “I love her” whenever I do something completely off the wall lol.

I was hoping to write a better blog about it than this, but mid-blog my mom knocked on my door and I lost my inspiration. I need to start blogging in my car, where no one can talk to me! I’m so foreal.

Speaking of, there was this huge spider crawling around my car door when me and Marissa got back from the Olive Garden so I handed her the disinfectant spray (I have OCD, I always bring disinfectant around with me) and instead of spray it away it caused the spider to slip through the door frame INTO the car so she opened the door and it was like, plopped into the rubber frame part and it had a web. The little sucker made a home in my door frame! Anyway, I forgot about it and I was cleaning the wedding stuff out of the car and I saw the web and freaked. Then I remembered that we killed that spider but man… that web looks like it was spun with glue. I’m so serious. I should take a picture tomorrow and show you guys. It’s gross.

I hate spiders. Yuck.

I got my first phone call a few days ago (I know, I’ve been horrible at updating this blog). It wasnt long. Just long enough to tell me his address and ask me how I’m doing, then he had to go. I tried to buy time, but I didnt want him to get in trouble so I just let him go. Again, its Sunday, is it bad that I’m expecting a phone call? I hear they get to call on Sunday’s or something? I need to get my laundry cause my relatives will be here soon but what if he does call, then I’ll miss it. But what if when I do go, he does call. I cant take the phone with me, no pockets. My parents are gonna think I’m crazy for constantly carrying my phone around the house with me.

My furball’s got their shots today. Not sure what shots, one was rabies. Meez has been sleeping on the stairs all day. Jay is acting like nothing happened. As usual.

Somehow I ended up watching Jesse McCartney music videos on youtube and that somehow led to HSM3 and I found this song “Can I Have This Dance” by Zac and Vanessa and fell in LOVE. So I bought it on itunes and I’ve been listening to it all day. Oh man, I’ve been missing ouuuuut!

Speaking of, I went shopping the other day with Marissa. Did some damage, but not that much! Marissa was chasing me around MAC and glaring at me the whole time. I was excited to get a palette from the Holiday 09′ collection but none of them really called out to me, the packaging was super cute but the shadow’s themselves werent… that great. Only one called out to me and it was a green/brown palette. But I already have a lot of green/brown eye shadow and for $36 I decided to just pass on it (see I do have some sort of self control people)!

Decided to revamp my entire jewelry line. We’ll see how this goes, I hope it goes well. Thinking of messing with some memory wire and some cat eye beads (I love cat eye beads).

Oh! I’m holding a free gift special for purchases from my Mark store (from now until mid December, I havent picked a closing date yet) so pleaseeee check out my beauty blog here for details! I need to save up for my wedding!

I guess that’s about it. Gonna try to find a more seasonal layout for this thing. I’m so picky when it comes to layouts!

Martin woke me up around 4AM-ish while he was getting ready for MEPS. And I ended up falling back asleep. He called me again when he was done with MEPS. And said he’d call me again when he got to the airport. He called me around Noon while he was waiting to board his flight. We got to talk for a little bit, then he went to board his flight to Arizona. He called me when he landed then texted me rushing to his next flight. And called me again when he landed in Texas. Then he called me again for our last phone call. He told me to be good and be strong and to make him proud while hes gone too. He also said “everyday, you’ll be okay”. And every time he says that, it hits me so hard that hes not going to be here.

Today was full of nothing. I did laundry. I had KFC Chicken Pot Pie with Mashed Poatoes and a Cherry Pepsi (they didnt have Dr. Pepper) — my I’m sick/sad meal. I didnt do much today. I’m looking for some wedding favors. Making lists of things I need to get done, tweeting my heart out. I played Bubble Town on Facebook (for the first time in forever)! I started a Target wedding registry. I feel like I’m asleep but awake. I’m so numb right now, I dont even feel like blinking. It hasnt really hit me that hes not here, I’m not panicking as much as I thought I would be. I attempted to make a haul but ended up just closing the window *sigh*.

Lornalyn sent me a message on Facebook about when Jerico joined the USAF. I thought that was really sweet of her =).

I might be sad about this, but I know its for the better and I know if we can get through this, we can get through anything. We’ve been through so much already, distance shouldnt be a big deal. I know hes going to make our lives better, and the most I can do is support him. We both need the time and the distance to better ourselves. To be better for each other. I know we’ll both miss each other a lot, but this is for the better *sigh*.

I’m a little happy that we’re in this situation. It kinda made me realize who my friends really are. And knowing who your real friends are is always a good thing.

Martin’s been buggin me about checkin out Pandora Radio. So I made a station with Linkin Park and they were playin my jams. Not just LP, but Switchfoot, Nickleback, ect. It was hot! So I made another station with Donell Jones and I’m just slowinnnn it down up in here. So fuckin relaxing!! I love Donell Jones! He got that kinda voice you just take a candle lit bubble bath to, ya dig?

Okay okay, this site is the shit. I love the sound quality on it. Its CD quality, they play songs within the genre of the singer/song you pick. Its pretty spiffy.

Period’s make me sleepy, Its only 1AM and I’m ready to knock out!

I was on Twitter watchin Bow Wow  & Soulja Boy on blogtv… watchin Tila’s grind video hahaha. It was hella funny, nice to know celeb’s are people just like us too. Esp Bow Wow, I’ve been a fan of his since Bounce With Me. Haha!

So I went shopping with the bestie yesterday. Gooooooooodness! Did some damage at Target, not as much as I usually do, so I was happy about that. But then she took me to CCO. Oh goodness, I fell in love. I didnt know the CCO closer to my house (AHHH THEY PLAYIN NE-YO!) was bigger than the one away from my house!! And they had SO MUCH MORE selection! I went nuts! I was all over the place. I was so so so happy to find MAC Claire de Lune eyeshadow!! Hello, Twilight anyone? LOL. They also had some FLIRT! And some Grass Roots (huge Kohls fan too). So that was a nice surprise.

I had fun with the bestie. She’s leavin for the P.I. I’m gonna miss her!! Who am I gonna talk to for the next three weeks?!

So much shit to do today… busy week too. Ahh! Sa’ll good though. Gonna finally cop me a Dyno shirt tomorrow. Cause its about time!

Still waitin on my MARK rep kit and my MARK haul, hopefully it’ll get here tomorrow. I’m super excited for it. Gotta make a few more videos (even though I havent even uploaded the ones I already have). My blog and youtube arent synced, which gets confusing after awhile… bah!

Still gotta make the layout for the makeup site. Yeah, about that… and still gotta code the layout for the other site… yeah… about that too… haha I’m slackin, I know! But I aint been home and I had a phatty headache yesterday. So…. blaaah!

I’ll jump on it though!

I just called AE to see if I could pay my credit card at the store and the operator was like “no there isnt any additional payment method Ms. Aba… Hazel” I giggled. She was obviously tired, she kept correcting herself. I hope I made her night a little better.

::sigh:: back to the drawing board….

I’ve been obsessed with “I’ll Forgive You” by Bobby Valentino && “Jai Ho!” by Pussycat Dolls (thanks to my bestie!). Seriously, only things I listen to. Oh and “Last Chance” by Ginuwine annnnd I found my favorite version of Mambo, Italiano. So that was pretty exciting. Dont you just hate when you love hard to find songs? It gets a bit frustrating at times.

I havent had much to blog about… life isnt to exciting these days…

I finally paid off my school fee’s the other day. That I owed from last semester. I know. Walking away saying “I’m not paying” probably isnt the best way to go LOL. So I went and paid that off & I signed up for summer school classes. I’m listed for the one I wanted and I’m wish listed on the other one I want… I know I should take some GE, but I’m too scared to, to be honest! I’m horrible when it comes to college. But I’m determined to make things right (dont I say that every semester? Hopefully I mean it this time…) even if it means asking Bernard for help/studying in his living room. I’m sure he wont mind!

Oh! The other day I gave in and I GOT WICKED TICKETS!!!!!!!!! I got the day, time and price I wanted! So I’m pretty excited about that!!

Downside of the week/end? A second credit card got its limit lowered. I was starting to think I did something wrong til Sammie sent me an article about how 1 in 6 american’s are dealing with this problem (but it happened to me twice, wtf?!). So I’m not too worried about it. It just sucks they switched my limit in the middle of my billing cycle, so its “over”. Even though I didnt receive this letter they speak of. Its funny how they can email you offers and coupons but they snail mail you the important shit like oh, I dont know… lowering your credit limit?! Gee, thanks.

Yesterday I gave in and ended up buying the Gossip Girl season finale. I told myself I was gonna watch Season 1 and watch Season 2 when it comes out and wait to watch the finale then, but everyone was talking about it so I just gave in and watched it. And I really liked it! Blair and Chuck are the hottest couple ever!

Screw Edward Cullen, I need me a Chuck Bass!!!

Me and the bestie were talking last night. And I was saying “I like when a guy does you wrong then runs back saying how much they need you and how sorry they are, then does it again and creates this endless heartbreaking cycle” and she was like “oh, you mean a-holes?” and I was like “YES! I LOVE THAT!” hahahhaa. Its true, guys are attracted to beezy’s and girls are attracted to a-holes! Maybe that’s why I was so stuck on CJ (sorry CJ, but you know its true. You were a total a-hole but its okay I still *heart* you LOL). Maybe the reason for me is different than everyone else. I dont take a lot of things seriously, and I dont know, I just love when they run back and admit how wrong they were and how they realize how important you are to them. Just the messed up-ness of it all. Is hot haha. Plus nothings better than making up after breaking up. Right?! Sometimes I think I should still be going around making mistakes instead of being with one person for so long. But at the same time, I think I’ve done enough damage to my name lol. Besides, I would really miss Martin. Which kinda makes me gag to actually say that. I know, I know. We’ve been together for five years and I’m still super anti-relationship-ish. Crazy, I know.

Totally off subject, but I’ve been super addicted to ELF lately. Like, as soon as I got hooked on their Studio Brushes, I’ve been making orders from them like crazy! But then I always get those 50% off codes and stuff, so that might be why. They released a new collection, I forgot what its called… Sugar Kiss or something? I wish they’d add more things to their Studio Collection! I hope they do! I finally found the lipstick color I’ve been searching high and low for at MAC (it isnt the exact one since the one I had wasnt MAC, but it matches from what I remember) and I got a Paint Pot, just to see what its all about. I didnt get the one that I assumed I’d get, but its okay.

That’s about all thats been goin on!

Then we realized that the bills still needed to be paid lol. So we headed back to Concord and paid the Verizon bill which was lower than last month, weird. Then paid Martin’s Sprint bill and I got 2 pigment samples from MAC (Golden Lemon — which I’ve been thinking about buying & Pink Bronze — havent seen this one yet), the MA remembered me and brought be back to see their Style Warriors collection display. Oh! The colors!! I decided to skip this collection, but I cant wait to check it out in person when it comes out! I went back to PacSun to see if they had any more of my flannel’s left, and they didnt. Bummer, so I went to Tilly’s and got one of their’s instead. I was looking for a quarter sleeve type. Then we ended the day at Borders reading graphic design books =).

Today’s suppose to be a busy day, I gotta get a bunch of stuff (I havent started) done. Video editing, picture editing, a bunch of cleaning… my OCD is kicking in major today though, cant seem to figure out why. Its such a pretty day, all I keep thinking about is how much I wanna be outside right now! But I do have to get some stuff done… plus I mean, there’s always tomorrow!

I’ve been trying to get back into the habit of blogging more often but I always remember after it hits midnight lol. I blame Twitter and Facebook, its so addicting!

A friend of mine mentioned “Addicted” by Stevie Hoang. I cant stop playing it! I’m a sucker for songs like these, which probably isnt the best thing lol.

Is it just me or does anyone else get lazy right before you have to take the laundry out of the dryer? I always hate that part!