Me: You know, you remind me of my brother.
Him: Haha, how?
Me: I dont know, you guys have the same birthday? *shrugs*

It was a constant question you asked me because it was a constant thing I said. I dont know why when I obviously didnt want to talk about it.

Me: Why do you like spending time with me?
Him: Listen *plays Addicted by Simple Plan*

Some questions you took forever to answer, too.

I miss being young with you. Being that carefree, that clueless. I miss the days before OCD, when I’d play with you anywhere and everywhere and I never cared about dirt or contamination. I know you miss that too. I wish we could just hold hands and walk around the mall and not have a care in the world and the only thing we were worried about was being together. And the only thing that mattered was that you were here, right now. With me, holding my hand.

I wish life was still that simple.

But we’re a lot older now, that was five years ago. And I look at us now, and every struggle we’ve fought together. Every bump in the road, every wrong decision, every fight, every fall out and we’re still here. Standing with each other, still promising to never leave the other behind. And you’re right, we have came such a long way. A very long and tiring way.

You accept me for everything I am. You understand everything in my life that’s made me me. You understand everything thrown at me that shapes who I become, you dont always agree with it, but you understand it and you support me as best as you can. You’ve taught me so much about life and patience and love and forgiving people. About letting things go and walking away when there is no solution.

I know I am who I am today, because I knew you.

You spend your days trying to make sure I have a good day. Every ounce of your effort (most days) are spent trying to make me happy. You support every crazy idea and plan I have no matter how little experience I have in that field. You actually want to help me achieve my dreams and you help me, as much as you possibly can.

I’m not perfect, you’re the only one who see’s my everyday struggles with myself and knows their extremes. You’ve came with me to every group therapy session, every doctor’s appointment, and you’ve even sat and read self help books with me.

You know how I feel about marriage, but I can not help but be excited to spend the rest of my life with you. I dont care what happens or how we’re going to fix this or if we’ll ever be out of debt or anything. I dont care. All I care about right now is telling you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And we’ll figure everything else out later. I vow to be by your side forever, and to support you in everything you decide to do or not do.

You’re right, I am the stronger one in the relationship. But only because I have an amazing man to ground me.

I’m ready to get married to you. And I hope you know that.

Foreal foreal.

I forget how inspiring One Tree Hill is to me.