Most times, I try my best to be positive. Simply because I soak up stress like a sponge and when I get stressed, not only am I in a grumpy mood but I get migraines and all sorts of other am-I-dying health symptoms. And besides, what good is it to stress over something that’s already happened? There isnt much you can do at this point to prevent it since it already happened. The most you can do is accept it, and figure out how you’re going to fix it.
For example, when my husband crashed my car cause he zoned out for a second. Sure, it could had been prevented. But it wasnt. It’s already happened. And for some odd, strange reason, it was meant to happen. So what was the use in getting upset? Yes its a hassle, its always a hassle to deal with things like that. And yes I was out of a car for a week. But being upset wasnt going to fix my car any faster. So what was the point. That would just be me, wasting my energy on something that I didnt need to waste it on.
The last two days have been depressing and left me feeling hopeless. I usually try not to write when I’m angry or sad, because that’s not how I want to be known. Because it isnt who I am, anymore. I do have my moments where I just feel like banging my head against the wall screaming “WHY WHY WHY” but you know, we all do. Right?! Feeling hopeless is inevitable. It’s bound to happen. The only thing I hate, about feeling hopeless… is that I start to loose sight. I start thinking that maybe my dreams arent worth chasing. And I know I’m just thinking that because I’m angry, not because I mean it.
I put myself in my situation. I didnt learn my lesson the last three times, and this is what it resulted in. In me, sitting here, feeling sorry for myself and hopeless. With a good pinch of anxiety. I dont know how I’m going to solve this problem, or how I’m going to get rid of it within the time limit I’ve given myself, and I dont know if I’ll ever figure it out. But I just have to have faith that I will, and when this hits again, I have to reassure myself that my dreams are worth chasing, because in the end, when all of this is done and over with… I’ll come out stronger, wiser and hopefully making better decisions.
And what good would my life be, if I dont reach my dreams? If I dont even attempt to reach them? What would my life be worth? Nothing. And I’m determined not make my life worth something.
