I miss you holding the door open in women’s restrooms and watching me cause you know the hand dryer scares me. I miss you pulling me away from things you know I dont need to buy. I miss sharing Hazelnut Toffee Mocha’s from Seattles Best with you. I miss sharing soup and soda with you at Panera Bread. I miss sending you millions of Wicked videos from YouTube and watching them with you. I miss singing to Wicked with you. I miss singing with you in general. I miss your good morning phone calls and the songs you sing me while I’m waking up. I miss your cheerful “Hi baby!” when I pick up the phone. I miss you falling asleep on AIM while I’m still talking. I miss you playing your PSP way too loud in the car. I miss you driving me around. I miss how you always have to hold my hand while you drive.

I hate that we’ve been apart from each other for this long. I hate how far you are from me. I hate the days I walk in my room and smell you. I hate the times I bite my lip and taste your kiss. I hate getting in my car knowing you wont be joining me soon and I wont be getting a “good morning baby” hug.

I want to wrap myself in you and just sleep. I want the the its-just-you-and-me-here feeling again. I want you home. I want you here with me, right now. I want you to never leave me again.

I miss you so much and I try so hard to push it away and to just forget about it. I drown myself in “work” to avoid thinking about how you’re not here today or tomorrow or next week. I’m constantly moving cause being idle reminds me I cant pick up the phone and call you about my new idea’s or accomplishments or projects. I’m so set on doing something to make you proud when I see you again. And I’ve got a lot of things I’m working on, and yet none of them make me feel proud. I’m excited for some of them, but I just really wish you were here to work on them with me. Like you always do.

It feels like we’ve been apart forever. It feels like I wont see you for another forever. Its just a few more weeks, we’re half way done. I cant wait until you come home. I cant wait until I get to show you my projects and I cant wait to show you your surprise gift. I hope you like it. And I hope you like my new projects, its not jewelry but I think you’d be happy to know I’m working on something I’ve always had a passion for over something I just started.

I know its hard for you to push yourself without me. I know its hard for you to keep your head on right without me with you. Its hard for both of us, but you’re pushing yourself as far as you can and I havent been, and I should. Its not fair for you to and for me to sit here and mope. So the next few weeks, I’ll be pushing myself as hard as you’re pushing yourself.

I cant wait to see you again.

….and to boo and Flixie too! <3

Holidays arent too special around here. It was a normal day. Mom’s at work, dad went to church, Carlo goes to work. Dad came home with lots of yummie Chinese food though, so I’ve been eating all day lol. He got me my favorite, Won Ton Soup! Yummm!

I didnt get anything done today. I took a some pics for my NYX palette haul. Tried out some looks, played around with my MAC eyeshadow’s. I dont see why everyone loves Ricepaper and Nylon so much. I did swatches of MAC Nylon and FLIRT! Honey Lemonade and guess what, they were exactly the same! That was something weird to accidently come across!

Had a bunch of stuff to do, didnt do any of them… I need to start making a list of things I need to do, I slack off when I dont.

Got some more info on the Basic Training/Tech School stuff. I probably wont be moving out there for a month, cause it would hardly seem worth it if hes not gonna have that much free time… its just gonna suck being away from him for five months. I will however, visit at least once a month. Get over my fear of flying alone, I guess. How I’ll do that… I have no clue since he’s gonna be basically half way across the country. I dont know how well I’ll do with landing by myself. UGH.

Damn you fears. Seriously. Being afraid of pretty much everything really effen sucks. Like you would not believe the shit that goes on in my head sometimes!

Whateverr… after Tech School it shouldnt be too bad after that. Hopefully he’ll get to come home for Christmas. I’m sure he will, that’d be messed up if he didnt.

I need to get this domain up and running. I mean it IS up and running… but I mean… you know, the layout pulled together. I need to get my beauty page up too, but that’s gonna take a lot more… learning. I need to get on the “new entries” I’ve been planning on writing.

I just really suck at reviewing things. Really.

My daddy liked his ipod =). I’m glad he did. Holidays are kinda depressing around here…

I started my period last night right before I went to sleep. Which was fine, at least I was prepared and not rudely surprised when I woke up this morning.

I did end up sneezy all morning. UGH! Allergies are so tricky. One day you have them, the next week you dont. Then you do. Then you dont. What the heck is going on?!

I’m waiting for my MARK rep starter kit to come in today, hopefully it comes in today! My MARK haul is suppose to be coming in tomorrow. I hope everything comes in on time! Gotta update the makeup blog some more… I like waiting until I get a bunch of comments, a string on entries usually doesnt get many comments. And comments make me happyyyy!

I’m trying to figure out how to add what I’m listening to on my entries, I’ve seen other people do it on theirs… then again I havent really sat down and spent time with WordPress, which I hope to do some day soon. June is just so busy, so… yeah.

Hm, I guess that’s all I’ve got to say lol. I’m trying to get back into blogging. Even if it is just a scatter of random entries.

Got an appointment tomorrow with the USAF, also got to pay a few bills at the mall… hopefully we’ll get done in time to make it to the appointment. I need to stop shopping and start sorting through things considering I might be moving sooner than I think… and we all know how much I love to procrastinate… *sigh*.

I tried Sims3 yesterday. Totally dont know if I like it. Eep. I dont know… it’s just so… different. I mean Sims and Sims2 were different as well. I guess I’m just so use to something and now I’m like “whoa whoa, wtf is this?!” you know? Its gonna take some getting use to. That’s for sure.

I have a thing for waking up and doing laundry as soon as I wake up… I better go check on that. I always get so lazy when it comes time to get it out of the dryer. Blah!