I’m trying to buckle down and figure this WordPress thing out. I’ve had this blog since April of 09′ and I never really bothered to mess with the plug-ins and all that sort of stuff unless it was something that I needed to do, like NAO. But I’m curious to know what plug-ins there are and how they can help make my blog better.

My categories aren’t working correctly, I know, and I’m trying to figure out how to fix that. Also, I’m thinking of changing them. It’s probably going to take me FOREVER to go through all of my posts and re-categorize them but I want to change this blog up a bit. I also took out Google Friend Connect since word is out that Google is getting rid of it for non blogspot blogs in March of 2012. So in its place is my link to follow me on Bloglovin (I’m obsessed with that site lately) and to follow me on Facebook and of course you could RSS too.

With that said, I’m thinking of opening up log in, where you guys register to my blog to see private posts. I’m hitting a point where I want to write personal things here, but I want to keep certain personal things out of the public. If that makes sense.

I’ve also started a channel with this blog, and I’m doing vlogmas so that’s exciting. I’ll be editing the first video for that tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll have more to say tomorrow. Ooh I do have something to say, but not too much. Darn. But I’m hoping to turn that into an everyday babble vlog channel. So yay! Pretty excited. I did my first video on my new review channel. So that’s exciting, sort of.

In totally unrelated news… I can’t wait to be back in Florida and I’ve been thinking about my re-wedding. When M and I got married, the plan was to get re-married after everything with the military had settled down. But since that plan didn’t work out, it’s been a little blah lately. Well that and my total going away get together fail from last year. A part of me sort of doesn’t want to bother with another wedding if no one’s going to show up like my last one. But I figure, we have some pretty amazing friends who we know will definitely be there, no matter where it is so maybe a re-wedding wouldn’t be so hopeless. I want a real wedding, somewhere where I have full control over the decorations and with what goes on. And I want to be happy and surrounded by amazing people. So maybe I’ll start sort of planning that soon (:

This is insane.

Oh! And Christmas shopping is done, mostly. I have to get 3 more things and I’ll be done :) I wish I could had enjoyed the holiday spirit more this year, this month flew right by me thanks to planning this wedding (though I cant really complain, I’m getting my dream winter wedding and my navy blue with silver dream wedding)! I hope next year I’ll be able to be more into the holiday spirit and actually get our tree up (I wasnt able to this year, sadly) and bake delicious cookies and make cute little crafty things and just enjoy everything.

Martin hugged me one night and told me “did you know, we’ll be starting the new year as a family? We wont just be saying it anymore, it’ll actually be true this time”. And that made me happy. Like everyone else who knows us, we already feel like we’re married. But know that we will actually be a family does make me feel warm inside :)

He’s determined to make next year happy for me, my happy 25. I’ve been dreading turning 25 since I had a nervous break down when I turned 20! Haha. Goodness, he’s put up with my random outbursts for such a long time. I think its cute and sweet of him to make sure that me turning 25 wont be such a big deal and I’m so thankful that he cares that much.

This one day we were at the mall and we were walking out of this kiddie/anime store and there was a scroll poster on the wall and one of the guys who are in the Kingdom Hearts Organization XIII looks like Sephiroth (a Final Fantasy video game character), well, in my opinion. So I get them mixed up. Martin’s a big Sephiroth fan (I personally dont like him) and so I was pointing to it and I said “hey, isnt that your friend?” and he was like “no, that’s not him” and I was like “oh… I tried” and we were walking away from the store and I was thinking about my ex who probably woulda bit off my head for not being “smart” enough to know the difference and Martin squeezed me and said “I’m not mad, I’m not like your ex. I dont expect you to remember all of these things” sometimes I think he can hear my thoughts. But I do love that I dont have to pretend to be some video game expert to keep him happy and I’m glad that the things I do know, he’s excited to teach me :)

I’m working my way though the Sweep series, I’m on book 7 (The Calling) right now and I’m fighting the urge to go continue reading it lol. I’m sad that I’m almost done with the series! I’ll try to post up a few reviews (I think I reviewed the first one, though I’m not sure). I think my blog could us a few more pictures anyway :)

I’m also suppose to be finishing up some packages that I’m gonna have to send out on Monday, and I’m not haha. I’m lazy! And it’s cold! I’ll finish them soon though. Its not much left to get done, but still a bit. Hopefully Monday will the be the last busy day before Christmas! Next year, I’m not going to forget to get my holiday shopping done in November! Haha.

I have to pick up my dress this week (ahh, finally!) and Martin has to pick up his wedding band, mine isnt done yet :( I hope it gets done soon! Gotta finish up the favors, mail in the payment for the reception, order the cake and I think that might be it. Am I really all done?!

The cold is making me lazy, I’ve been getting out of bed passed noon! I hate that, I feel like I just slept away half my day. Goodness. I’ve been trying to squeeze in as much time as I can reading Sweep, I’m on the 6th book: Awakening. I love this series, I’m sad I’m almost half way done with it. I read the back of the last book and now I’m itching to get through the rest of the books, but not at the same time. Darn.

I need to do a little more Christmas shopping, though I have no idea what I’m looking for. At least its just for my parents and I also have to pick up a gift for Mae too!

I’m thinking of baking some Christmas cupcakes today! But we’ll see how that goes. I got some Red Velvet Cookies from Lucky’s yesterday. I wonder how those will be. I wish I had more time to get into the holiday spirit this year, poop! I totally will next year though! I have so much to do to prep for the new year. New Years is probably one of my top favorite holidays even though its not a really epic celebration. But new beginnings is something that Aries are attracted to :)

My mom added me on Facebook, how odd lol.

Gonna go read some more of Sweep before I go pick up Martin :)

It’s been extremely cold here lately, and as much as I thought I’d finally love the weather, I kinda really havent been. All I’ve been wanting to do lately is just curl up under my fleece blankets and sleep!

I finally got to try on my wedding dress last week, I love it! The colors came out wonderful, I was scared the navy blue would be too dark… but it came out perfect. They pinned it up so they could make alterations and it should be done early next week. Martin found his tux, finally! His tux wont match my dress exactly, but whatever. There isnt time to worry about that right now. I have to send in the final agreement paper for the chapel today, I’m so nervous! I cant believe I’m actually getting married! That’s so insane to think about!

And I almost completely forgot about Christmas lol, it’s been a bit hectic around here so its only natural that I somehow forget about it. I have my Christmas presents ready to be wrapped, but I dont feel like I’m giving enough out. I hate that, I always have to buy people more than one gift all the time. I obviously havent had much time to think about gifts or to go get them. I hate how close the wedding is to Christmas, ruins the Christmas spirit! Haha. But I am glad I finally get my dream navy blue/silver wedding.

Finally changed my bed sheets to my happy snowmen fleece ones. I LOVE these sheets, they’re so… happy! And warm :) my OCD was acting up like crazy while I had to change them… but the process went smoothly, thank God. The only thing is… my snowmen are upside down lol! But its okay, I’ll deal. I started a new OCD blog, I dont know if I’ll post it up or not. But I’m going to try to keep up with it. I need to record my progress or lack of. I’ve become obsessed with figuring out how all of this works and why it happens.

Watched movies with Martin yesterday. Time always passes so fast when we’re together. We watched High School Musical 3 (I wanted to know what the big deal was and of course, my new celeb crush Zac, rawr lol), The Breakup (which didnt end the way I thought it would) and The Notebook was on tv, he tricked me! He knows that movie makes me sad (but its one of my all time fav movies and books). I love him, he’s always so sweet to me :)

Gotta go finish up some stuff before running errands! Oh how I cant wait til this hectic-ness is over!!

I got a call from Martin at 0730 yesterday. I swear, he sounds surprised every time I pick up the phone, like I wasnt going to pick up or something. If only he knew how fast I wake up when my phone rings these days. Too bad he’s coming home, I’m going to go back to taking an hour for him to wake me up every morning lol. Maybe not.

But, he sounded a lot happier. He was laughing a lot more. It was nice to have a happy conversation with him for once, its been awhile since we’ve had one since he’s been there. The situation sucks, but we’re use to things going wrong so I’m sure we’ll bounce back in time.

I was talking to him about his uniform cause he was saying how he has to return his blues and his camos and I was like “no fair, I’ll never get to see you in your camos” and he was like “yeah… I dont look too bad in them either” asshole lol. He knows how much I  love camos. I was like “did you get a bunch of name tags?” and he was like “yeah… I’m hella touching my uniform and pointing to it like you can see me haha” asshole! He’s wearing them right now?! Well duh, what else would they wear but *swoon*. I told him he got paid last week and I was like “wait thanks for taking us to Todai last week” and he started cracking up and hes like “wtf”. Got you boo!

I asked him if he still wanted to get married and he was like “yes, I do” and he sounded a little sad I asked. Hey man, just making sure. I told him I was upset with my parents the night before, but I talked to my mom and things are better now. I dont know how this is going to work out. But I have faith it will. I hate the idea of getting married. Hate might be an understatement, but to be honest, I am excited to be getting married. Not really for the ceremony part, but the being married to him part. I’m honestly not looking forward to the ceremony part. I get so nervous in front of people, even if they are just family and friends. I hate having the attention on me. You know how some people are like “YES! A day ALL about ME!” yeah, I’m not one of those people. Please please pay more attention to him than me! In fact, I’m making him walk down the isle. You think he’ll go for it?! Haha. Lets all hope.

On the upside at least now I only have to buy an xmas gift. I’m still waiting on his surprise and its not getting here fast enough! It might not get here at all, but I still have hope it will.

Tomorrow is finishing up the last minute wedding stuff, mailing out the invitations and putting the finishing touches on the favors and sending in the payment. My dress should be here next week. Lets hope the shoes I ordered dont cause me to trip and fall during the time I’m wearing them, at all.

Btw, like the new snowman layout? I dont like how the text box at the top is so high up, but I guess I just have to warm up to it… or something lol.

I did however manage to talk to the cake department about my wedding cake and to the chapel place to ask questions about the photographer and floral. Now I just have to pick out pictures of what I want mine to look like for both. Its just kinda lonely planning out your wedding without your fiance being able to help you, you know? It causes less arguments, but I just wish he was here to tell me what he wants too, you know?

I started a Wicked fan site last night. I spent last night thinking about what to put down for content while I was falling asleep, and I have a few things to post… but I didnt get around to it. Maybe later tonight. I’ll link it once its up and running, not that anyone reads this or anything :(

Man! I hate feeling down, its such a lousy feeling.

I was trying to decide what to name the new Robo baby. I havent taken pictures of him yet, again, maybe later tonight. I shoulda probably took some during the day but I didnt really have time. I was trying to decide between Ace or Boq (get it? Munchkin… dwarf hamster? hahaha…). But I’m not completely sure if the Robo is a boy and Ace seems like a good unisex name. Though I really wanted to pick Boq. Or Nessarose lol!

I need to start putting moisturizer on my face, its not getting cold (it still feels like summer here in CA) but my face is starting to dry up and peel. Blah, I hate when that happens!

• New free Aerie gift
• New Wizard of Oz comic book release
• Wicked!
• New Moon
• One more month closer to see my boo!

Yes, I plan on seeing Wicked for a third time this month! I’m pretty excited. Hopefully this time we get balcony seats. Floor seats were lovely when Defying Gravity came on, but horrible when it came to seeing what was going on in the middle of the stage.

Basic Training is almost over! I’m so excited! And nervous at the same time… I’m probably going to be nervous and shy and self conscious when I see him. Blah! Then he’ll be home for Christmas (hopefully) and our wedding isnt too far away from that.

The wedding planning has been going… better. I should had said “getting” but whatever. I ordered my dress! It’s wonderful. Not my first choice (my first choice didnt come in blue, at all… boo) but it’s just as lovely. I got a shrug to go with it because I’m insecure about my shoulders and I also ordered my shoes. I hope Martin likes my dress! I’m sure he’ll be surprised since its not the dress we decided on when he was here. We also got the table decor’s, we had changed it since Marissa came up with something better. So we’re going to test that out and see how it goes. Also, we’re going to have to test out painting some flowers! Pretty excited about that.

Right now I’m focused on the favors, been looking up some images for bouquet idea’s. We still have to order the customized ribbon and the save-the-dates as well as the invitations. And I need to get the save-the-dates out like… now. But its hard if I dont know if Martin’s Christmas break is solid, so hopefully he calls soon to let me know.

The planning is a lot less stressful now that I have my dress. Whew, thank goodness!

Yesterday I received two letters from Martin. Both three pages long (at first I was convinced this couldnt be my finace! He hates writing, but there it was. In his sloppy handwriting) and a letter about his graduation. I swear, I cried the whole time I was reading his letters. He was telling me how challenging everything was and just like the strong person he is, he was writing down plans to do better on his runs, his push ups, his crunches. I wish I was half as determined as he is when it comes to things that he fails at. I simply just give up. He never gives up, he never even thinks about giving up. And I admire that about him. He was telling me that he thinks of me when things get hard. And it makes me want to run over there (yes the whole how many states over) and just give him a huge hug and kiss. And let him know I believe in him. He also mentioned he wanted Olive Garden (OG is my favorite restaurant but he hates it there!) and he goes “its funny how when I leave I miss everything, or maybe I just want to be with you” and I just broke down. He would follow me no matter where I went, to the ends of the Earth if that’s where I wanted to go. And not in a lost puppy type of way, but in a I-want-to-be-where-you-are-always type of way.

I had just got done texting his mom the graduation details and my phone starts to ring, and its him!! Imagine my surprise. I picked up and he was on the other end, cheerful “Hi baby! What are you doing?” I missed his cheerful “Hi baby!” and so many things just flew out of my mouth. And suddenly, I just went blank. I know there was more I wanted to say and nothing was coming to mind! I hate that we’re on a time limit, it makes me forget things. Then he had to go, and I wish our phone calls werent bittersweet. We dont get enough of them and I dont want us to be sad when he hangs up. I’m determined to not let it end that way next time. I’m determined to have him laugh and smile when he hangs up the next time.

We’ll see each other again. Just a few more weeks, we’re strong enough to get through this. I’m so proud of him. I cant wait to spend a weekend with him and listen to all the stories he has to tell.

The wedding planning is… going. Not as fast and as final as I’d like it to, but… its getting there. I figured out the table decor. My main stress is finding a dress. Cause I’m not going anywhere unless I find a dress! My mind is just… everywhere right now.

Wedding planning, graduation planning, jewelry making planning, just… everywhere. Lots of planning.

I was calling a bunch of buffet’s in Las Vegas today and it looks like I’ll be sticking with the original plan. Everything else just… doesnt make sense and I dont know how good their food is. I dont want to risk it. Favors are slowly coming together… filling up my planning journal, rather quickly lol.

I started reading Sweep: Book of Shadows today, a few hours ago. And I’m down to having 1/4 of the book left! This book is so good. I’ve always been interested in Wicca and Greek Mythology and stuff. So, yeah, this book is great. My family is catholic so, I kinda know how Morgan feels. Its just… insane lol. I wish Martin was here so I could tell him about it, hes always interested to know what I’m reading about.

Goodness, how did I get so lucky? :)

[edit @ 7:40PM]
I finished the book. Darn! Now I want to read the rest of them!
[/edit]

Martin woke me up around 4AM-ish while he was getting ready for MEPS. And I ended up falling back asleep. He called me again when he was done with MEPS. And said he’d call me again when he got to the airport. He called me around Noon while he was waiting to board his flight. We got to talk for a little bit, then he went to board his flight to Arizona. He called me when he landed then texted me rushing to his next flight. And called me again when he landed in Texas. Then he called me again for our last phone call. He told me to be good and be strong and to make him proud while hes gone too. He also said “everyday, you’ll be okay”. And every time he says that, it hits me so hard that hes not going to be here.

Today was full of nothing. I did laundry. I had KFC Chicken Pot Pie with Mashed Poatoes and a Cherry Pepsi (they didnt have Dr. Pepper) — my I’m sick/sad meal. I didnt do much today. I’m looking for some wedding favors. Making lists of things I need to get done, tweeting my heart out. I played Bubble Town on Facebook (for the first time in forever)! I started a Target wedding registry. I feel like I’m asleep but awake. I’m so numb right now, I dont even feel like blinking. It hasnt really hit me that hes not here, I’m not panicking as much as I thought I would be. I attempted to make a haul but ended up just closing the window *sigh*.

Lornalyn sent me a message on Facebook about when Jerico joined the USAF. I thought that was really sweet of her =).

I might be sad about this, but I know its for the better and I know if we can get through this, we can get through anything. We’ve been through so much already, distance shouldnt be a big deal. I know hes going to make our lives better, and the most I can do is support him. We both need the time and the distance to better ourselves. To be better for each other. I know we’ll both miss each other a lot, but this is for the better *sigh*.

I’m a little happy that we’re in this situation. It kinda made me realize who my friends really are. And knowing who your real friends are is always a good thing.